Two Steps Forward…

Everyday - Folk

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back...isn't that the saying Two steps forward, one step back…isn’t that the saying?

Usually, when I’m putting together my thoughts for this space, whatever the topic, I aim, or at least hope, that they will be in some way helpful & encouraging. Inspiring even. But today, this one is just for me.

I’m not really one for smalltalk & platitudes. I prefer real conversations that get to the heart of things, so in not sharing what my current reality is, I’ve been feeling distant & disconnected. A little automated. On shifting roots, unable to find my depth, a dense fog in my ability to create and tell my story authentically.

So here I am. Trying to wrangle words from my head to my fingertips, in a way that tells a small portion of a tale that isn’t mine alone, and has no currently knowable ending. That respects all parties, yet allows me to express that I am in a limbo of marital separation that is heartbreaking, raw, terrifying, and (despite and with gratitude to the most wonderful folks that have given me their love, kindness, and truth in my darkest times), it is a lonely journey.

Here at least, there is no blame, no sides, it’s just how it is. It’s huge & it’s nothing. The world still spins, and life goes on with all it’s ups, as much as the downs. I have no advice on how to get through this at this point. I’m living it day by day. I don’t want to hash it, nor provide a blow by blow, but for me, at this moment, the fact is that my reality, my everyday, is just me & Boo, or sometimes, just me.

And so, perspective shifts a little, and the story goes on. One step at a time…

Comments (14)

  1. HannahB

    Oh, my friend, just sending love to you for your bravery in talking about it. ❤️❤️❤️ I owe you a fb message too, haven’t forgotten…

  2. Heather

    I think this is a post you needed to write and share – this is your space and you shouldn’t feel disconnected from it. I’m here to offer all the support and love you need while you work things out. Xxx

  3. Mike

    Glad you found the courage to post this. You are right, it is a lonely journey but one that you’ll be all the stronger and wiser for at the end of it x

  4. Katy at Apartment Apothecary

    Beautiful, brave lady, we are all here for you to help make the loneliness of the journey more bearable. I know that you will end this chapter so much stronger and happier and I can’t wait to see where the road takes you. I think you are amazing xxx

  5. Teri

    I’m so sorry to hear this is what you’ve been going through and it’s no wonder you haven’t felt in the mood for idle upbeat chit chat. I don’t think you need to apologise for that xx

  6. Liz

    Hello. I am a new fan of your blog, and cannot even remember how I discovered it the other week. But, I am definitely inspired. And, if before I was inspired by the feel and look and content of you blog, now I can say that I am inspired by you as well. Without even knowing you. I send you warm wishes of peace and comfort as you go through this lonely, difficult time. I can say with certainty, that holding tight to your soul, you will discover a life that is more than you could have ever imagined. All the best to you during this transition time. xoxo

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