The late evening has become my time. I get a sort of second wind, and it’s when I fit in most of my work & making. It’s when I get time to stop and think, to watch (or half listen to) trash tv, and it’s when I finally zone out of the day ~ no~one to answer to, arrange things with, or feed. To dress, or to pick up after, or meet the needs of. Cleaning, washing or whatever can wait until tomorrow, and there are fewer, if any, notifications pinging about to distract me…the world is stiller & quieter, and I can breath.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my sleep. I really really really do. And I have an eight hour requirement for sure…and yet, it’s one of the biggest things I deprive myself of. Not only in a bid to just get stuff done in the day, but also, I find I’m most creative late at night (which is apparently, quite common in terms of creative habits).
I think in part though, that it’s also a habit that’s been built upon and is now hungover from early Bear days…I’ve always been a bit of a night owl as I’ve said before, but when the Bear was feeding through the nights, I would wait up until the 1~2am feed as for me, falling asleep & being awoken is just the WORST…I thought I’d be better off waiting it out & then getting a few solid hours until 4~6am…BAD idea in hindsight…”sleep when the baby sleeps” is the old adage (which, as with everything I’m told I “should” do, always really annoyed me, but in the early days, seriously just do it…sleep as often, whenever & wherever you can, everything else really can wait!)
Of course, those days faded out (although she still awoke between 5~6am for a loooong time, and only now is it between 6.30~7am…thank goodness for DBear being a far better morning person than I!) And as they did, I’d already found myself unable to put down yarn & hook, and to this day, while she sleeps soundly, I can still be found pottering about, hook, needle or brush in hand, editing images or writing, often still until 1 or 2am, occasionally more.
There’s a fine balance, and really no line between what is my work and my life, but I have to admit to myself (again) that I may, perhaps, find that I would be more productive by being less productive at the wrong time. It certainly may, at the very least, aid in my willingness & ability to just get up & get dressed in the mornings! It may also quell some of these moments.
I’ve mentioned all this earlier in the year, and it served, for a short time, to make me more aware of my late night activity, if, lastingly, only occasionally to actually get to bed any earlier. But, I have noticed a shifting and have generally felt a little less tired (except when hormones hit, but that’s another story!) So, I’m on a pledge to myself (again!) to really get into a better routine for the next few weeks; to try to break the habit, and to get more, or at the very least, benefit from better sleep. Wish me luck…